Letter from a dead ……….

From the prison cell of smallest possible dimension I can see the sentries are exchanging guards-are on a strict vigil, as if a criminal like me can escape from the cell in a whisker- by dint of a magic lamp.
Even if I have the magic lamp, I will never ever think of escaping. I am not a coward!
Or am I!
When the special court judge had pronounced the death penalty- I was boiling hot with anger. Since I was inducted in the mission-our philosophers told us that we are going to do it for a noble cause- it is a jihad. But now, in my dark prison cell, where I had not seen sunlight for months-I thought it over and over. Now I realised that what I did was not an act of bravery-no, certainly not. Butchering helpless children, women and old –can never be an act of bravery. It is simply cowardliness! I do not have any anger over the judge. If I have a chance to see him again- I would have thanked him to arouse this sense of repentances, this feeling of guilt in me- making a man out of an animal.
And those so called philosophers-who told us that we will be martyrs. If I can see them again…….
No I am not going to harm them- because violence can only give birth to violence
! I would have asked them instead-does they have any right to brainwash those minds-as innocent as flowers.
When I have get themselves inducted into their group- I thought I will make abbu and ammi beaming with pride. And now I know that their heads are hanging in shame. if I could have started the life anew …….
Everything will be very different…………..
And Salma-my little dear…..I know that still you weep thinking of me-when no one is around-when no one is there to watch that you are shedding tears for a murder-an animal in disguise of a man.
Salma-I wish sometimes you may write me letters at the address of sky………………
Sunshine- if a faint ray of sunshine happens to enter my blind prison cell, in my blind life- I do not know what magical effects it would have on me.
I lost count of time-after I had seen the open blue sky. A piece of sky- if somebody could have gifted me a piece of sky- I would have easily gifted him everything that I have.
But the irony is that now I have nothing except my past.
If I have the slightest idea where to get a time machine and return to my boyhood-my green days when I used to celebrate the Republic day or the Day of Independence……

it is spring time in our jannat e jahan- winter gone, new leaves are on bloom, chirping of birds are announcing the pronouncing the advent of youth- but my world will die soundless, colourless- blind!
Small bit of colour, small bit of sound………..

If I have a chance- I would have told my parents- see, your little boy is now a big man. He now knows what is right and what is wrong.
Alas-it is a little late.

We got a small piece of paper when we cleaned the cell of death convict no-14. I read letter on that piece of paper-the letter that I have quoted here!
I do not know why even for a tough nut like me- I felt my eyes were a bit wet!

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4 thoughts on “Letter from a dead ……….

  1. Hi Bishwanath,
    When I started with the post, I couldn’t locate the theme,a bucketlist or associate. But when I reached to the line, ” If I have a chance…” All the missing pieces came together.
    I found your fiction too profound with wishes, where people are listing down their unending lists that want to do while your character wishes one simple thing that means more than anything else to him.

    Like

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